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Common Relationship Problems
There’s always a point in relationships when things don’t go as smoothly as expected. Relationship problems arise, often because of the conflicting beliefs of the people involved, or the interruption of other matters, or the difficulty to express ones self in ways that other people can’t actually listen to and comprehend to what’s being said. Occasionally, there are those who simply don’t know what to do to build a good relationship.
Secure relationships provide support, ease, and excitement, but can also be the cause of pain, misery, and disappointments. The natural stages of ups and downs in attraction, vigor, and eagerness can set stress on relationships. Sadly, people have little hold over these factors. Nevertheless, a lot of problems come up from aspects such as job and monetary pressures, or aims and expectations that are different among partners. These are the parts where one can make changes, and improve relationship contentment and build stronger ways for fresh growth together.
The most common relationship problems include poor communication, poor problem-solving skills, inadequate partner support, and lack of quality time together.
Poor communication is one of the most common relationship problems that most people encounter. Good communication in a relationship necessitates a lot of skills, without which there is greater possibility of relationship problems arising. Starting with getting rid of all distractions such as TV’s and radio noise, and arranging a quality time that suits both partners, is a good way to set off communication. Do away with interrupting the other person when talking, and avoid categorizing the partner. Talking about good factors of the relationship as well as the relationship problems, can positively help create good communication.
Poor problem-solving skills affect the relationship and become one of the relationship problems because relationship issues are better handled with good problem-solving abilities of the parties. The ability to solve even the simplest conflicts and the common barriers to solving relationship problems is very essential; being able to recognize the root of the problem as well as selecting the appropriate solution is as important as well.
Inadequate partner support is when partners start having impractical demands and anticipations, relying on the other person to meet them. Not being able to effectively communicate one’s needs, can also result in arguments and forms part of the relationship problems. Both the person involve should give and receive enough support in order for the relationship to flourish.
Lack of quality time together involves not being able to jointly plan spending valued time together and not being able to recognize shared interests, therefore not able to center on positive things and enjoy the same things together.
Relationship problems should be dealt with from the moment it is perceived. Treating and handling these problems results positively better relationships, than just putting them aside with hopes that it would simply fade away.
Changing Your Own Drinking Habits
If you drink when out with friends or at home with the partner that drinks, you make have to make a change if you want the alcoholic to stop. An alcoholic cannot stop drinking if they live in a house with someone that drinks even one cocktail a week. They see you drinking and determine that if you are happy with your drinking, you should accept their drinking. If they want to stop and you drink in front of them, they will not be able to do it. An alcoholic that wants to stop cannot around someone that drinks in front of them or that goes out and comes home smelling of alcohol.
You might have to stop drinking. This is the only way that you can show your support for the alcoholic that is trying to stop drinking. It is also the only way that you can make your point that you do not want them to drink. You cannot tell someone that they cannot do something if you do it. Remember that the alcoholic does not think that they have a drinking problem. They are just drinking as you do. You have to make some changes with your own drinking habits if you want to make an appeal for the alcoholic to stop drinking.
Maybe you can go with friends somewhere else to drink when you are gone for the weekend or overnight. However, this is just another deception in your relationship. Some alcoholics do not want to stop, but if you sit and drink with them, they think that you accept their drinking. If you sneak out to drink, you are just doing what they could do. If you want to enjoy a night out, you may want to drink non-alcoholic drinks. If you do drink, you should not be preaching to the band even if you only drink occasionally.
Talk to him or her and see how they feel about your drinking. In some cases, the alcoholic knows that they have a problem and they know that you only have a few drinks here and there. They may not have a problem with this. However, if they think that because you drink, this means that they can drink, you may need to stop even if they have no problem with you drinking. This sounds ridiculous, but it can happen. Many alcoholics know they have a problem and they know that their spouse or partner does not.
Should you be supportive and hide your drinking from the alcoholic in your life? This should never be done if you want to keep the lies out of the picture. An alcoholic lies and hides their drinking when their family wants them to stop. You would be doing the exact same thing. You may want a drink sometimes, but if you do, you must not hide it. This can only cause more problems in the relationship.
If you have problems understanding why you cannot have a drink, you may have to reexamine your own feelings for the person. Sometimes a person finds it hard to change because they are not the one with the problem. This might be true, but if you live with an alcoholic, you have to make changes and sacrifices. This is just part of the problem. If you feel that you should not have to give anything up, then maybe you need to think about what you want.
If you think that giving up drinking is hard, then maybe you should. If you think that you cannot change the way you live to be with an alcoholic, then you might not be in the right relationship. Sometimes you have to make a decision that means that you cannot have a drink or you cannot go out with friends. This is a choice that you have to make. You have to be sure of what you want. Sometimes to be right, you have to stop drinking so that the alcoholic knows that you want them to do it as well.
Building Courage to Improve your Personal Life
When you build courage, you start to improve your personal life. Building courage will help you take risks to a brighter future that you ordinarily would not take. When you build courage, you put fear behind you. courage is the process of admitting that you have fears, yet you are willing to find a way to defeat those fears and not allow these fears to take control of you. It is OK to experience your fears at appropriate times. For instance, if a bus is heading in your path, swerving you have a right to fear. There is nothing wrong with healthy fear. The problem is you have to put healthy fear in its place and unhealthy fear out of your life.
Once you build courage, you will learn to self-direct you in life. You will learn to accept punishment and rewards gracefully. A courageous person will often feel motivated to accept blame and responsibility while reviewing their actions and using what they learn to move forward. Courageous people will step to the front, rather than stepping back when opportunities come their way. On the other hand, a courageous person will step back and take a view at his or her mistakes gracefully.
Sometimes the courageous person is spontaneous. It is never good to plan each day, because no one knows what the next day will bring in. Think about it. How many times have you planned something all to see it shatter in your face the next day. For instance, I plan to go to the ballgame tomorrow. Come tomorrow a blizzard, hurricane, tornado, wind storm, or rainstorm could change your mind. You planned, but did you plan for the weather. Did you make a backup plan in case your first plan failed. As you can see, planning is not always in your favor, which is why courageous people are sometimes spontaneous.
A person willing to improve their life will relax. This person will relax even when plans fail. For instance, if it stormed the next day the person will find something else to occupy his or her time and feel just as happy about joining this adventure.
To become successful and improve your life you will need to learn how to trust you. When you trust you, you can trust others as well. Unfortunately, we live in a world where trust is hard to find, yet when you trust you, you can’t blame others when things go wrong.
Improving your life includes using your creative and critical mind. When you can create new ideas, you are off to the road to success. You have many options in this world, it takes you to pull up resources to find those options.
Sometimes in life, we feel uncomfortable. In fact, this is common. Are you willing to accept your discomforts? Perhaps at an interview you feel misplaced. Are you willing to accept this discomfort and find a way to deliver a good speech to impress the interviewer. Alternatively, are you willing to allow negative energies cost you the job.
Do you accept?
Do you accept the things you cannot change? Do you accept the things you have control over? Do you accept other people regardless of how these people act? Do you accept you for who you are? Do you accept the changes that life brings your way?
Acceptance is your key to happiness. When you can learn to accept the good with the bad, you can learn how to live happier and improve your personal life. If you cannot accept however, well, reread this article again.