Posted On 01 Jul 2018
If I’d said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…. Modern Dating is hard. What was once synonymous with courtship OR the process of getting married has become a confusing and often frustrating grey area between the first date and a committed relationship that might never happen. These situationships are more than just hooking up or friends with benefits, but they are certainly not fulfilling relationships and can often be very bad “situations” to get into. So,
In this video, I’m going to share x signs that you’re in a Situationship, I’ll explain why they can be terrible for your well being. So stay tuned and don’t go anywhere.
Let me start by explaining what a situationship is. I guess you could call it a pseudo relationship… I’ve even heard it described as an imaginary relationship. It’s somewhere in the middle between “friends with benefits” and a “committed relationship”
You start seeing a person… you’re going on dates and you start doing things regularly. There is definitely a chemistry and attraction that leads to physical intimacy and sex, … but there is no talk of commitment, relationship, exclusivity, or future goals.
And this just continues…. Lasting for months and even years. Usually, one party catches more feelings and wants things to progress into a full relationship. After all, maintaining the status quo won’t magically turn your situationship into a relationship. At this point, they will initiate “the talk” or decide to move on. and what started out as lots of fun ends up in tears and heartache.
Does this Sound familiar? Chances are if you have dated in modern times, you’ve been in this place and know exactly what I’m talking about. But for those of you who are unsure of how to explain your unique “friendship”, here are some clues that you are in a situationship.
1. You have no words to define the relationship…or no official title.
2. You’re Dating someone that tells you from day one he is not interested in any type of commitment.
3. You avoid discussing the future.
4. Texting is the primary form of communication and And even that’s pretty casual.
5. You have no pictures together.
6. You aren’t going on dates with anyone else.. not seeing anyone else.
7. You have sleepovers routinely.
8. You don’t feel like you have a right to your feelings when your “friend” does something upsetting.
It’s okay to be in a situationship, if that’s what you want at the moment. Nothing is wrong with enjoying someone’s company and taking things slowly until you want to give them more. Sometimes it’s easier than a relationship because you aren’t in a place in life where you can squeeze in any additional commitments or responsibility. I get that. Just don’t look at your situationships as an inevitable stepping stone into a real relationship. Don’t get stuck in a situation where you’re hanging on to hope of something more developing, It probably won’t ever happen.
And, if you can’t ever see yourself in a relationship with this person, you have to ask yourself if you’re okay with giving this undefined person all of your time and effort. Are you’re okay with possibly gaining more feelings for someone who may have can’t be with? If you’re not satisfied and feel like your time and effort can be better spent elsewhere, respect and love yourself enough to let the situationship go. Don’t let an unclear situation cause you to forget what you deserve.
I’d love to hear about your experiences with situationships… Has anyone had a great experience? Perhaps one that led into a long term relationship? Marriage? Leave a comment below and lets chat.
I’m Dr. Antonio Borrello, a psychologist and dating and relationship expert and author of Dating 3.0: Finding Love in the Age of Social Media and the Smart Phone.
Please Subscribe to this channel and be the first to know when new videos have been posted.
And Join our conversation on social media.
I’m happy to answer subscriber dating and relationship questions anonymously. Email AntonioBorrello@icloud.com